Sure thing, Boss!

For posterity's sake, I'm posting this email I got from my boss.

In the past year, I've probably raised over $100k for the radio station. I've put together a state-wide golf outing on the same course where the LPGA championship will be held next year. I've represented his organization in court, found him free legal help, moved a studio, had a baby, and took over programming for six radio stations (above and beyond my normal two) without being compensated - after I found one of his former employees trying to dig up dirt on a major donor.

So, without further ado, here's the email that I received today from my ever considerate boss.


John,

Please contact this gentlemen. And then follow up with me. Also I need to start receiving those weekly reports. Bottom line is that the income for the station is way below where it needs to be. Being busy with no results is not acceptable. I expect the income of the stations to keep increasing. If this does not happen, then it may be necessary to find you another job in the organization. And without results your income is not going to increase and it would be tough to raise a family on your current income. Are the pledge drive dates set yet?

God Bless,

XXXXX

For Posterity's Sake

Quick post, so don't feel like you're overstaying your welcome.

News on all fronts:
- Baby due in 8 days.
- Two batches of beer fermenting.
- Getting fat.
- Music project picking up.
- Osita hit the top of Mt. Evans (14k +)
- Family came to CO.
- Baby due in 8 days.
- Bought used bicycle to make bus travel possible.
- Baby due in 8 days.
- Getting fatter.
- Avoiding most social media.
- Not playing enough video games or watching enough TV.
- Still have SDTV.
- Have converter box. Reception poor.
- Put foil on antenna. Can watch World Cup matches.
- Have seen only one World Cup match.
- Saw that Big Drowning Jesus burned.
- Been working photography in again.
- Enjoying Osita's haircut.
- Car on fritz, randomly stalling.
- New tires on car.
- Ready for new job.
- Not ready for new move. Not looking.
- Ohio in September.
- King Sooper's fried chicken.
- Baby not born, taking all space.
- Picking up 1990 Jaguar XJ-S V12 on Friday.
- Raffling off 1990 Jaguar XJ-S V12 in September.
- Note to self - call insurance agent about per diem/prorated daily insurance on said car.
- Baby still due in 8 days.
- Met engineer who remastered "Dark Side of the Moon" on SACD @ bar.
- Like people lots.
- Don't care much for people.
- Having a baby in like, a week.
- Totes fin.

Shit, I lost the link I was going to send you.

All That Meat!

And no potatoes. :(



Go watch this on YouTube by clicking.

When you really think about it, this song is high-larious.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying or thinking a damn thing about anybody's physique as I post this. In fact, I hum the refrain in the shower. I sing it in the pantry. I tap out the rhythm with a spatula. Whatever. Just tell me if you agree - this song is all about the badonkadonk girls with no ta-tas.

LOOK OVER THERE!

Homebrew news update available by clicking anywhere you want.

Steam

I like how this is shaping up. It's the beginning of the Steam scene from AQUA. The concept is purgation of mental busyness and the contemplation of identity that can come from exposing yourself to the opportunity to do so.

Anyhow, check it out. It'll disappear in 30 days, so pardon the future broken link if you catch it before me.

Fie! An Onanaist Most Foul!

Know what? I like history. I do. Particularly the medieval kind with fanciful and occasionally unsubstantiated claims of heroism and grandeur.

There's some debate about "Harold's death" on the Bayeux Tapestry. And certainly, you couldn't take everything from the Song of Roland literally.

But, friend, I can assure you that the following link is worth your perusal, as it chronicles a tale of fanciment and woe most pitiful.

Don't pretend like you've never even once TRIED chatroulette.

KLIK HIER.

Lagerheads

I'm guessing that the Kirin Lager clone is near high kreuzen by now. Bubbling away, churning with large, scrambled-egg sized clumps of proteins that had coagulated due to the use of Irish moss (aka carrageenan), and smelling a tad sulfurous.

If it goes sentient, I'd imagine it will blame the smell on me. But I would (and will) have my revenge.

More about this project over here.

Verily, They Doth Micturated Upon Thy Rug?

Brandt Can't Watch...

...it'd be pixelated anyway.





Source: 8-bit Lebowski on www.blameitonthevoices.com

Because You Deserve to Remember to Laugh

Ever watch something hilarious and then forget how hilarious it was? Kinda like the first twenty times you watched The Big Lebowski and found a new reason to laugh every time? You didn't do that? Well screw you anyway.

The greater feeling is realizing that after a long hiatus, after the laughter has flocculated aside the dust of time, you still find humor in something you used to enjoy so much. There is some comfort in that stability, knowing that either you or it have not changed so much as to become vague or unrecognizable.

For me, unfortunately, this is one of those moments.

I'll check back on you in a couple of years, Tourette's Guy.

Until then, fare thee well.

Meeting in the Aisle

I forgot about this one completely for too long.

I Hear Voices.

Google Voice.

It's a great idea that is usually paired with equally impressive performance. And, it gives "El Goog" unfiltered access to every voice mail that I receive...but that's a story for another day.

If you're not familiar with Google Voice, here's a primer. You can set up a GV phone number that your voice mails get sent to, bypassing your cell carrier's VM service. Once a voice mail is received, GV uses speech recognition to create text from the audio of the message, and emails it to you if you so choose. Which I did.

Like I mentioned, it usually works well. But when it doesn't, it can result in some cryptic, creepy hoobady-joobady. For example, I received a voice mail while in a meeting last night. When I turned my phone back on and checked the email transcription, the message read:

They don't think we just need to get back to you. So talk to you soon, please.

The original message was:

Hey, Johnny K., it's just me. Just getting back to you, so I'll talk to you soon. Peace.

So, maybe they're not after me, after all.